I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a bad parent, so I’m just going to say it.
I don’t like everything about my kids.
I love them, and I love every aspect of them, the good and the bad, but I don’t like it all. And really, is that so bad? I don’t know….maybe it’s just bad to admit. But I have even told them so much. When they are extra naughty, I will tell them that I always love them, but I don’t always like them.
And I have found myself getting more easily annoyed with certain personality traits of each of them. But at the same time, these are personality traits that will do them well in life at some point in the future.
So we have hit this hard parenting point of what to do. Do we steer them in a direction that will potentially end these annoying behaviors? Do we ride it out until that point where the behavior is beneficial to them? Do we try as hard as we can to teach them that they need to learn when to use that trait and when not to? It may be an easy decision, but not an easy task.
And here’s the hard part, the parts of them that annoy me are the parts of them that are most like me.
Eva loves attention. She loves showing off, she is loud and boisterous. You can see how that can be annoying, but you can also see how it is fun. She makes people laugh, she makes people notice, and she has this self confidence that I never want to ruin. She will be a leader.
Henry is a know-it-all (although he mostly gets that from his dad) and he is always right (even when he’s wrong). And you can see how that can be annoying, but you can also see it is amazing. He will be strong and confident, and won’t let people tell him no. He will be a leader.
And they are both stubborn. The most stubborn. And admittedly, they get that from both Chris and I. An argument in our family is never easy. They are frustrating and both kids have to have the last word. It’s annoying to no end, but it’s also encouraging. It will work for them in the future. They will be go getters, they will stand up for what they believe in, and they will have the confidence to back it up. They will be leaders. Good leaders. Fair leaders. Strong leaders. Smart leaders.
So in the end, it’s ok to not like everything about your kids. They certainly don’t like everything about you, I can almost guarantee that. But you love them 100%, and you support them 100%, and you encourage them 100%, and you guide them 100%. And you may not like them 100% of the time, but that’s ok.