I have had many times where my own insecurities from childhood have gotten in the way of my parenting. Where I remember how I felt being this kid or that kid, and how I don't want my own kids to feel that way, so I steer them in another direction. I have been that parent that wants to do things for my kids so they get it right, and to make it easier for them. I want my kids to be the best at everything they do, not because I need them to be the best, but because I don't want them to ever feel second best.
But then again, I sometimes do want them to feel second best. Wait, what? Does that make me sound horrible? Maybe so, but let me explain....I never want my children to be made fun of, to feel left out, or to be the worst player on the team. I want that for them because as a mom, I never want my kids to feel sad, embarrassed, or alone. But if they never feel sad, embarrassed, or alone, they will grow up to be naive. They will be adults who do not know how to deal with loss, who can't overcome failure, who can't walk away from a bad situation when they should. They will not have the ability to take the hardships they have endured and turn them into greatness.
So instead of doing things for them, I stand on the sidelines and hope for the best. When they are not the best player on the team, I help them practice. When they are not the smartest kid in school, I help them study. When they are not the funniest kids in class...Oh wait, they are. When they fail, I let them. When they are sad, I will be there for them. And when they lose, I will teach them how to turn that loss into a lesson, because to me, my kids will never be second best.