Tuesday, August 21, 2012

curious birds: it's takes a village




dress ~ c/o Swaychic*
shoes ~ Urban Original
earrings ~ F21
bracelet ~ thrifted

i'd like to think that i'm a good mom. we have two great kids – they are polite and smart and creative and funny. and sometimes they are real jerks. there, i said it. my kids can be jerks. they fight and tattle and push and even lie sometimes. summers are the worst. they lose the structure of school and the hours of discipline that come with being in class all day. now don't get me wrong...every kid deserves a fun and free summer. every kid should know what it's like to run through a park, swim in a lake, bike around the block, and walk to get ice cream on a long summer day. but after 90 of those days, kids tend to get a little crazy and wild...and they can turn into jerks.

yesterday morning, as i was getting into the shower, i looked down the stairs and happened to see henry push eva off the small landing at the bottom of the stairs. this isn't the first time he has pushed or hit her – lately it has become his way of dealing with things. and i don't like it.at.all. so, without thinking, i called for him to come upstairs and i proceeded to have a talk with him about how this isn't the way of dealing with anger, that he needs to calm down, count to 10, walk away, or reason with his sister if he is angry. i noticed that he was increasingly uncomfortable, and i thought to myself, "yes, i am doing a great job of explaining to him how he needs to behave. this is excellent parenting." i gave myself a metaphorical pat on the back. and then i realized his discomfort wasn't coming from me telling him what's what. it was coming from the fact that before i started disciplining him, i was seconds away from getting in the shower....so you can only imagine.

so i'm asking you all for advice today...parent or not...how do you deal with a naughty kid? (correct answer: with clothes on.) but seriously, any advice would be welcomed!

*on a completely unrelated note, you should check out swaychic.com. they have an ever-changing array of gorgeous and affordable clothing, including a section called "under $30 dresses". this asymmetrical, cut-out detailed lace number will be my new go-to cocktail/wedding/dinner-out-on-the-town dress for the summer. the site is easy to browse, with labels such as "floral", "brights", and "vintage inspired", and the quality of the pieces seem to be top notch!

xo,
megan bird

29 comments:

  1. I'm sorry, this did make me chuckle... put some clothes on woman! ;o)
    I don't have any kids so I can't be of much help I'm afraid, adults can be jerks at times, so I guess it's not surprising that kids can be too.

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  2. My parents would warn me and if I still did something wrong I would either get a slap or get sent to my room. They would always carry out their threat if I pushed it. I knew where the limits were so rarely stepped out of line. I hate it when you see parents being walked over.
    I can imagine you being a great mother, but your story really made me laugh! x

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  3. that dress is so cute! I love their website! i'm sure those stories aren't funny in the moment but afterwards just a little?

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  4. I can't decide which I want more: your dress, or those SHOES! Yum.

    I have no advice regarding the kid situation. I have three, but the oldest is only 4.5, so we're in a WHOLE different stage of drama!

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  5. I LOVE that dress! And I totally laughed when I read that you were naked while disciplining. I really don't have any advice on a good way to go about it, and it's what terrifies me most about having children. I fear that my kids will do something bad and I'll just want to laugh. With my nephew I do a lot of the silent treatment/ignoring when he's acting out and looking for attention, and sometimes that works... ?

    Send my thoughts to Nora!! :)

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  6. oh god! We are lucky enough to have so far a very well behaved, happy, polite little man but he knows where his boundaries are. We adopt a strict method that we keep the same no matter who is dealing with the situation, basically we have the good old 'I will count to 3...1...2 (repeat the request) and if we get to 3 he sits on a naughty step/spot until he is ready to apologise. And if it isnt a counting situation he is sat srraight on his spot. When he is ready, we get down to his eye level and explain to him what was naughty and he apologise and gives a kiss and a cuddle. Trust me don't get to 3 very often as he knows that he will be sat on his step. Some may agree or not but in very naughty situation he does get a smack on the bum of legs and sat on his step but not very often. But we always always explain to him what was naughty, why it is naughty and the consequences of his actions.

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  7. BAhahaha! I am sorry, but that is funny! I hope he got the message though!

    I love this dress! Next time get a pic of the back, because it looks cool! I love the arm-band too :)

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  8. Always nice to have a cute little black dress :) and I was thinking what if you made the "naughty" child stand outside with a sign on them telling what they have done wrong...
    Heathersthriftycloset.blogspot.com

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  9. All kids are jerks at some point I think! I wish I had some good advice! I can't help but laugh at the naked mom discipline! Perhaps it will stick with him though?

    Wonderful dress, I have not heard of that site, I will have to check it out!

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  10. What a gorgeous dress and wedges! :) You look BEAUTIFUL! :) And haha, kids can be jerks, I would not know because I don't have any, but I'm sure it is hard when you love them so much but then they act that way and you have to figure out a way to talk to them to stop!

    Happy Tuesday!

    xoxo,
    Rachel
    Rachel’s Lookbook

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  11. Oh my goodness - I love the cutout on the back of this dress!

    I think every situation calls for a different parenting technique (so, yeah - not at all helpful). I think each of my kids reacts differently, so I can't use the same discipline for each. Plus, they're each so different at every stage. What made an impact a couple months ago may not have the same effect now. But I think the key is follow through. Whatever the case may be, if I say what's what, they know I mean it without exception.

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  12. I love the lace dress and the back cut out is SO cute!

    I'm not a parent but I have worked with children in various settings and had some rotten apples! I don't have advice but I really give credit to anyone that's a parent. I can't imagine how hard it is!

    -Sharon
    The Tiny Heart
    Enter my new giveaway open internationally!

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  13. OH man. I have had moments like this for sure. My kids are even older and to the point where they can comprehend what you are telling them (11, 7 and 5) and it still happens. Mostly my boys (11 and 7) fight all the time. But now that they are in football together, they are starting to have a really close bond. They fight less. I'd say keep doing what you are doing--stick to routine, reinforce the same principals and punishments--but it also might help for them to be involved in something where they have to work together as a team. Like they have to clean up the play room or back yard together or whatever. THey have to build a fort together or something. I don't know. I'm far from an expert! LOL We all have those crazy moments in parenting where we just are annoyed by our kids.

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  14. Well if having a dog like Ace taught me anything, just yell and then put him in his crate. Problem solved :)

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  15. Megan, all I can say is nooooo! please tell me you were at least holding a towel. So darn funny. He knew you were serious and got the message because he could see the urgency of you correcting him by seeing that there was no time to grab a towel. Anyway, thanks for the heads up on the site. I will check it out today. Also, I can see this dress in every season layered with boots and a sweater or just the way you are wearing it. Your hair is a beacon of light...so shiny and gorg. dawn suitcase vignettes xo

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  16. megan that dress is stellar on you! how i deal with a naughty kid depends on the situation. usually i tell them what they did that i don't like, then a logical or natural consequence, or time out. i found this link from university of minnesota. i don't know if you'll find it helpful?

    http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/familydevelopment/W00019.html

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  17. Love the dress and can only wish I were able to wear shoes of that sort.

    Megan, if your state of undress (teehee!) didn't convince him how important it was, nothing will!

    Okay, being serious, I always made certain the consequences for misbehaviour were immediate; if that wasn't possible I let them know what the consequences were and why it was being deferred, as well as for how long. I also made certain that the punishment fit the crime, so to speak. Arguing children got the kissing rug ( a bright red, lip-shaped, mini rug) until they 'kissed and made up'. Pushing? They got to push the wall for five minutes. Etc... etc... Is it bad that I also attempted to ensure that the punishment also amused me in some way? Shouldn't there be some pay off for being Mommy Enforcer? ;-)

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  18. HAHA! I actually remember my mom scolding me in a similar state as a child...at almost 31 I still remember it, so I doubt he forgets the lesson too soon.

    Love your dress, the cut out back looks super fun!

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  19. Haha! You girls have the best stories!

    And you always look absolutely gorgeous! This dress is amazing! Oh and those shoes - to die for!

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  20. cute lace dress and the shoes...amazing
    brett

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  21. Ha ha ha, I know you want a serious answer, but that is just too darn funny! Unfortunately, I'm of no help since I don't have kids, but I do like to think I am a quasi fashionista and I can say that you look really fabulous in that dress! Love the lace!

    xo Jenny
    www.crazystylelove.com

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  22. It sounds like you said all the right words to him- how's it been going since your talk? unrelated, but that website has all kinds of cute stuff!

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  23. You look great! Love black lace :)
    Im waiting to hear some good advice too. Lately my son has been randomly lying and Im at a loss. Ive tried everything (with my clothes on) without much success. Good luck :)

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  24. don't have kids, but what worked in the classroom was taking away what they want. you wanna be an ass? no computer time. walk laps instead of playing during recess. no sticker on the sticker chart. no special treat on friday...whatever it is that matters to him personally.

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  25. ok firstly in clothes you look gorgeous! this dress is stunning on you. you just cant beat a cute lbd! Secondly, OMG, you may have scared him for life heehee! No but honestly we have the same in my house and when it gets to bed time this mama needs a huge glass of wine. We do naughty spot in my house which seems to sometimes work... Its a long ol' summer isnt it!! xx

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  26. Eeeek, this part of parenting is hard! Glad I am not a Mum! I would say that Supernanny's techniques might work as they link to things we do in school (reward and sanction charts and timeout)- naughty step plus consistent use of it (everything Rebecca said) and also having a reward chart. My Mum also had a sanction chart when I was about 9. We were going on holiday in the summer which we didn't do very often. If we got 3 crosses on a chart, that meant one red square. 4 red squares and then the holiday was cancelled. We never got that far!

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  27. Gorgeous dress and amazing shoes! You look adorable :)

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