Tuesday, July 19, 2011

weekend recap: excuse me waitress...

so you asked for it (no you didn't)...but you're getting it anyways. introducing the sketch comedy stylings of two birds. nora and i came up with this while drinking beers with our uncle, sister and a dear family friend. no one else thought it was funny, but we could not stop laughing. imagine us, laying down in the full-sized scamp bed (almost spooning), mosquitoes buzzing around us (i literally had 118 bites on my butt alone), darkness surrounding us...and we are laughing – uncontrollably – over this:

cue scene:
jack sprat and his wife are at a restaurant
jack: excuse me waitress, is there any lean in this meat? because my wife is deathly allergic. she can literally eat no lean.
waitress: let me check with the chef.
jack: well, it should be ok, because i can eat no fat. so why don't you bring us one steak, two plates. and i assure you, we will lick the platter clean.
waitress: no problem.
jack: oh, and for dessert, we'll try this delicious blackbird pie we've been hearing about. but please, make sure there are no more than four and twenty birds in it. after that steak, five and twenty would be way too much.

ok, ok, i know. it's not funny at all. but now just imagine nora and i in a scamp bed, both of us for some reason sleeping in dresses...mine a halter maxi, nora's a short red knit number. (yes, we even sleep in dresses.) and imagine us so hot and so tired and so giddy from donny singing to us (well, donny only sang to nora, but joey sang to me "please don't go girl..."). and imagine us laughing until we cry...saying to ourselves, "we need to write this shit down." only to wake up the next morning and have everyone tell us that it is in fact not funny at all. we still think it is, and just wait...someday it will be on the two birds sketch comedy show. even if that show is on cable access. you can all say that you knew us when.

now you know the dialogue...here is our weekend in pictures.

20 minutes until show time

hangin' tough with kimi

see, right there...donny and joey singing to us
megan never does shots...
we fought over brian litrell

st. croix river
it was too hot for a bonfire
mimi loves camping!
being so close to the river...it was just easiest for them to always wear life jackets (kidding)

are those bugle boy diapers you're wearing?
beautiful minnesota
 so...would you watch our show?

two birds


  1. I would, sign me up! too funny!

  2. Looks like you gals had a great time at the concert! you both looked great! :-)

  3. It looks like you guys had a wonderful time! :)


  4. this is hilarious dear, you're cracking me up. And looks like a really rocking good time!


  5. Wow, such a great time, mmhh?
    You two are lovely, so I gave you an award on my blog!
    Have a sweet day!


    I had to sign in on wordpress to be able to comment here... that's why the name pitgat!

  6. I love your scamper!! And I totally LOLed at the Bugle Boy reference - I'd forgotten about that one!

  7. I thought it was hilarious. Mimi is such a babe in that picture haha.