Thursday, July 21, 2011

curious birds: it's about to get personal

sketch comedy stylings of two birds, part deux.

cue scene
megan is dressed like a gangsta mosquito. nora is dressed like a hoochie ladybug. megan is acting cool as a cucumber and nora is droppin' in like it's hott.
bass line kicks in.
sexy fireflies, butterflies and spiders are dancing like crazy.
bass gets louder.
suddenly sir bites a lot (megan) jumps out into the middle of the dancing buglets singing, "i bite big butts and i cannot lie..."

ok, still not funny. i am well aware. try not sleeping for 24 straight hours and read this again. i can almost guarantee you that it will be funny then!

speaking of big butts (ya see how i did that?? clever!)...i have a curious birds question for you all that is a little more personal than other questions we have asked. it's all about the undergarments...

you see, i'm all about comfort. sure, i want my undies to be sexy, but given the choice between sexy and comfy, i choose comfy. sorry chris...but you think i'm sexy no matter what, right? (right?) my issue is that i have a big round booty. i love it, don't get me wrong, but it's hard to dress. either i get grammies that make me look like a sumo wrestler, or i get a thong. cause no way do i want to have vpl. and to be honest, i hate thongs. hate.them. for some reason (sorry for the tmi), once when i was training for a marathon, i ran 17 miles in a thong. i gave up on them after that day. i just couldn't bare to look them in the eye after what they did to me.

i did find some undies at kohls once that i wear every day that i have tight pants on. i like to think they show no panty line. maybe someone behind me would tell me differently. the thing about them, though, is that they are not cute, and if i don't wear them with tight pants, then they turn into snuggie gremlins, just wanting to crawl higher and higher (i told you it would get personal).


so what i'm looking for, in my eyes, is the impossible. i want a pair of undies (does anyone else think the word panties sounds pervy?) that have the following criteria:

~shows no visible pantyline
~isn't a thong
~is comfy
~doesn't get all snuggie on you
~is somewhat sexy
~doesn't cost an arm and a leg

i'm on the hunt...and here's why (stop reading now if you don't want to hear a hilarious, but somewhat personal story)...i have my nighttime know the ones. they feel like a big chenille bathrobe wrapped around you, mixed with a tall glass of red wine and maybe a little, cuddly teddy bear, all in one. they are plain comfortable...but u.g.l.y. (you ain't got no alibi). i realized one morning the reason why they are so comfortable. you see, i woke up and they were around my ankles. apparently i wear loose undies to bed, and apparently that night, i was moving around a lot in a deep sleep...and apparently, unlike most of my "daytime" underwear, these ones wanted to have nothing to do with my butt. so they slid down...all the way down to my ankles. and that is how i woke up.

so i need your recommendations, what is a decent pair of underwear? don't be shy!!

megan bird


  1. This is neither here nor there, because I'm on the same hunt as you, but I wanted to mention something I learned a few years ago.
    Most dudes actually dig VPL. Why? Because it makes them think about your panties, and you in them.

    Yeah, dudes. Weird, right? Still no reason for me to want my butt to look lumpy.

  2. I also have a larger than average posterior. I'm a big fan of the 'cheeky' style. And anything bikini cut. I think they are both comfortable (and my boytoy likes them). I would also suggest looking for something in stretchy lace. They give me way less panty line and look sexy no matter what style they are.
    I usually wait for Victoria Secret Sales and then order things online. But also American Eagle occasionally had a '7 pairs for 5 dollars' sale and I am all 'W00t a week of underwears for 5 dollars!'

  3. LOL!! That's funny. I know the exact type of undies you mean for sleeping. I have the same ones. I swear, my husband cringes every night as I slip into my oh-so-sexy giant undies and sports bra and climb into bed. Oh, yeah, I'm one hot mama. =)

    I can't help you on a good pair with no visible lines, though. I stick with thongs myself for daytime. =/ Of course, running in a pair... Ouch!

  4. I hate thongs. HATE them. I refuse to wear them. They make me feel like I look like Wayne in Wayne's World, in the scene where he pulls his tighy whities up his ass and prances around Tia Carrere's bedroom. It's

    I found a style I like at the gap recently (on sale, of course). They're boy cut, size L (cuz I can't STAND to be sausaging out of my undies). They feel great, and look pretty good, too, if I do so say so myself. Plus they cover all my bits! The perfect undies, imo.

    Wow, that was TMI.

  5. Thanks for the comment, I love how you both do a joint blog, I don't get along with my sister to share a blog with her :)x

  6. I find lots of really nice (ie Calvin Kline) undies at TJ Maxx or Marshalls. They have tons of styles and all under 5 bucks. What's better than that? I have found a lot of comfy thongs, though. I have to wear them most days for reasons that would be TMI but I think there are comfortable ones out there! I also wear boy shorts which I feel like show way less of a line because it's down below your butt and less visable.

  7. LOL i feel the same way about thongs. I have them, but I only wear them when necessary, if i'm wearing a butt hugging skirt or pants, other than that I hate feeling like i'm wearing butt floss!! I've found some comfy undies at Target, Xhiliration brand that are cotton. They have boy short style and regular and they usually sell 3 for $15 or something along those lines. Hope your undie search is successful :-)

  8. Hi! I have also been on the same under garment hunt. I have found some that I LOVE, and they fit all of your wish list, except the last one. (Of course, isn't that always the way it is?) They are called "Butterflies" by Claire Pettibone, and the style is the "The Hipster." They are super comfy, show no lines, and are just beautiful! I do admit, the price is U.G.L.Y. Maybe a gift idea?? Here is a link where I found them.

  9. way too funny of a story, I thoroughly enjoyed it, thanks you, made my morning! i really like this line that is at target called Gilligan & O'Malley, I prefer a thong so I haven't tried any other style of theirs but I also have some of the housecoats and pj's and love it all, super awesome material and the don't cost a arm and a leg!

  10. Teehee!! What ever happened to Underalls and Love Pats??! Anyway, I've seen that Jockey actualy carries a no-panty-line undies for the ladies but I haven't actually tried them.

  11. My azz belongs to Joe Boxer....cotton, stay in place, comfortable, kmart, and low cost. i am hooked. Dawn

  12. Have you ever tried the Body by Victoria line at Victoria's Secret? I think they run about $12.50 a pair but Victoria's Secret sends out so many coupons if you give them your number/e-mail address that you can usually get them for less and they last *years*. They are plain colored but don't show any lines. They're some type of cotton blend and are bikini style I guess you'd say? But they fit so well and especially the black ones, in my opinion, don't look too 'granny' at all. Plus, if you have any curves (I do) they give you a tiny bit of control that just really smooths things out if you're wearing anything tight!

  13. this is HILARIOUS! just because we're sharing here, i tend to go commando unless i'm wearing a dress or skirt. eliminates so many probs :)

    i'm so glad to be following your blog. you two sisters are so much fun!